My Credit Card Failed…

My credit card payment failed for ShieldApp

I was blown away by what they said

Here’s the email…

Subject line: something bad happened

Hey Ted,

Your payment didn’t go through.

Maybe it’s us…maybe it’s your bank?

Please update your billing information [here] and we’ll give it another go 🙂

Thanks,

Andreas from Shield

CEO/Cofounder

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6 reasons why this message so good:

1. Killer hook in subject line – I opened this email immediately
2. Casual and personal tone, “Hey Ted” (as opposed to a formal lashing)
3. No assumptions or blame toward me (the hero), rather, “them” or the “bank”
4. Clear instructions & a no worries tone and smiley face
5. Direct from (on behalf of) the CEO
6. Short and to the point

99% of sales emails are awful – like god-awful

We need more creativity like this

It’s not that hard!