I continued to get bombarded with emails that really miss the mark.
Let’s look at this one, so we can avoid these mistakes.
Subject: Checking in
Hello Ted,
I’m working with clients in the software engineering space and have built a network of top-notch candidates both locally and nationwide/remote and I believe a few of the candidates I’m working with would be a great match for you.
If you are open to reviewing any of their profiles, or have any urgent hiring needs, please let me know!
What I like:
- It’s short
- Used my name
- Solves a real need
What I don’t like
- Pleading
- Overselling
- Weak subject line
- It’s all about them
- Focused on their work – not a problem solved for me
- Celebrates their achievements and their network of top talent
- No call to action – zero invitation to take a clear next step with them
Here’s a re-write using the HAPI framework
HAPI:
- Hook
- Assumptionless
- Problem solved
- Invitation
Subject: Interview Quality Engineers
Hey Ted –
Not sure you’re looking for engineers. They all seem to bounce around a lot these days. I have a few that might fit the bill for you.
Worth a chat, or should I leave you alone?
See the difference?
PS: phone, LinkinIN voice message, 30-sec vid – all great options with this message.