I love getting sales emails. It’s a great opportunity to learn and grow in terms of communicating effectively via email – which is VERY hard to do!
Here’s a recent email outreach to me (names hidden for privacy)
Hi Ted,
I tried reaching you a few times in the last few weeks, but it seems some other vital matters at Predictive Index have your attention.
To make things easy, let me know by selecting the correct option from the following, and I’ll devise my next steps from there.
A- Send me details or a profile about [org name]
B- Tomorrow is good for me for ______AM/PM Pacific time
C- Naaaa— Tomorrow’s not good, best day and time is ________________
D- Best person to talk about this is _________________
E- I’m occupied. Better to touch base in two weeks
F- Thanks! But this is out of my league. Not Interested
Thanks,
—
[Avg salesperson]
Here is my response – see if these are on point – or not…
Hi Avg –
As a fellow salesperson, I hope you’re open to a few take or leave tips:
- Other than one other email, I have no messages, VMs, or LI likes or connection requests from you. So your opening line feels a bit disingenuous
- Your email does not match your domain – I know it redirects – but still a red flag
- “Vital matters” can come across via email as condescending. I highly doubt that’s your intent.
- Do I really need 6 options? You’re making my brain work too hard. 3 is enough. (and we’re all set btw)
- Some of your options border on insulting, e.g., “out of my league”
- Your unsubscribe seems a bit low tech for a tech company – it would be much easier to mark you as SPAM
I hope this helps. If you want a super helpful framework for writing sales emails – this may help
And feel free to connect with me on LI, I offer a lot there on selling more effectively in today’s environment.
Rooting for you!
Ted